In the quiet of the night, have you ever felt your heavy heart reach out to you? When you hear someone passing by say a name or a phrase, does it propel you into a lost memory? When a familiar scent wraps around you, have your ever relived an experience? A song comes on the radio and you smile to yourself, remembering high school antics only to quickly change the station when the next song comes on so you don’t relive a painful memory? I think it is safe to say that we all had this happen in one form or another. We can be doing our own thing and minding our business only to be whisked away into our past for better or worse. Reliving some memories can be a wonderful thing. It can feed us when we are feeling down or unsure. However, there are other memories that are thrust upon us like a blinding light, freezing us in our tracks and knocking us out of our groove. Stunned, we might not know what to do next. These are the memories that we tend to repress or shutter away in the back of our mind. We do this with hope that they will go away. They never do though, do they? It feels like they lurk in the shadows, waiting for us to release them. Haunting us like ghosts, they appear when we are alone and in the dark. Sometimes they come when we least expect them. Silently, we take a slow breath. We may cry. We may replay the memories on the screen of our mind repeatedly. Or we may slowly and tenderly pick up the pieces that have spilled out of the shadows and into the light only to sweep them back into the darkness once again. As these repressed emotions and memories build up, do we continue to tiptoe around our pain or do we choose to seek a path where we can embrace all of our experiences and share the story of our life?
Last week I wrote how important it is to learn your own story; to explore your past and understand who you are. There is a lot we can learn about ourselves when we offer the sacred space we need in order to feel the emotions that are bottled up inside. (You can read the first blog here) As we walk this winding road of self-healing and spiritual evolution, the lessons we learn while we reflect on our past will help us move forward if we choose to work with what they teach us. But how can we begin to unpack the parts of us that we have kept hidden for so long?
Walking the path of self-healing is not an easy journey. It is long, messy, and a lifetime commitment. When we vow to welcome home the parts of us that we pushed away because they were too painful or uncomfortable, we can discover there is deep and meaningful healing to be found. One of the ways we can bring deeper healing to ourselves is by listening to our bodies. It is known that after a tough day we can feel the tension in our physical form. We can experience muscle aches and headaches, sensitivity in our digestive system, lack of patience, a short attention span, difficulty sleeping and many other symptoms. These are physical manifestations of our emotions and experiences trapped inside our body. As a result, we try to take the time to unwind and relax ourselves out of the physical tension and pain. But what about the emotional aspects of these tense situations? Do you take the steps to free them as well?
There is a reason why we succumb to pain in our body. When we experience pain in our back or neck, we understand that there is something going on and can either take the steps to correct the issue or not. We can see physical wounds and bruises and choose to address them accordingly. It is something humans can choose to do. What about the emotional pain and scarring? That is more difficult to see. We cannot see an emotional wound on our skin. However, we do feel it. The invisible, emotional trauma appears as a lingering ache that haunts our memories, bleeding into our everyday life. As this feeling grows, we may not know how to address it. It’s the morphing phantom that moves throughout your energy looking for a place to settle into, maybe leaving you feeling unsure, sad, or indifferent. Perhaps you are unaware of it completely. Is there an undiscovered pattern that has been created where you keep experiencing these physical and emotional issues? The cause can be a variety of things and you can experience more than one at a time. Are you afraid to speak up and reinforce healthy boundaries? Are you uncomfortable with a dominant personality type and shrink into the background so you avoid being seen? Is there someone in your life that reminds you of another who hurt you deeply? Maybe there is another reason that you are unsure of or maybe even unaware of. Whatever the pattern or reason you discover, there is a root cause somewhere in your past that is calling out for your love, care, and attention. Are you ready to offer yourself what you need?
One of the ways we can start to detangle ourselves from these difficult patterns is to listen to our bodies. Either in a quite sacred space or in mediation, begin to breathe deeply. Settle into yourself. Remind yourself that you are safe and willing to listen to what is going on with you physically. Begin to scan your energy. What do you feel? What do you sense? What is your physical form trying to tell you? Is there a heaviness in your heart? Is your body tired? Do your nerve endings feel as if they are on fire? Take your time. Tell yourself that you are safe and that you are here to listen and offer assistance. Maybe your body is trying to tell you that it feels alone or forgotten. Maybe it is overworked or under nourished. Are you drinking enough water? Are you afraid to be in your own skin? Everything that you feel are clues to a bigger picture. When you are ready, ask yourself what you can do to alleviate the pain you are feeling. What realistic steps can you take in this moment to bring you one step closer to healing?
When you are ready, start to peel back the layers a little bit. (Remember, it doesn’t have to be in the same meditation because we need to allow the healing process to unfold as it must. If we go to fast, we may miss key pieces of information or even experience a healing crisis. Move through this process as you must.) After the physical body talks to you, what does the emotional body need to say? This is the part of the exercise where you can be sent back into memories where you felt similar emotions or perhaps even where a trauma began. As you enter your meditation, be sure to invite your spirit guides for assistance along your journey. As you explore your memory, allow the feelings to flow. Let your thoughts and emotions be witnessed. Hold your past self. Offer the love, attention, healing and even advice to your younger self. Ask your guides to assist you. Reclaim those pieces that have been repressed and hidden. It is true that you cannot change the past, but you do have a say in what your future can hold. This is the time to explore your possibilities. When you are ready, come back from your meditation and journal your experiences. As you continue to explore your past through meditation and journaling, you may be surprised at what you uncover. With each meaningful engagement of these exercises, more piece will become unlocked, opening doors to allow the healing and liberation to begin.
As you walk along your path, take notice of the physical and emotional changes that are taking place. It is not always easy to see the progress as you are actively working the exercises and healing, but there is progress being made. You have decided to step forward and offer yourself the chance to find your voice and reclaim parts of you that have been set aside for a long time. Maybe you are doing that for the first time in your life. That is a big deal and one that should not be taken lightly. Our stories are written in our hearts. They are etched upon our bones. We feel them deep within us when we empathize with those we love and with strangers alike. When we take the time to heal and reclaim our voice, we create the action for the power of change in our lives. By tuning into our bodies, we allow the pieces of our soul to talk. They have a story to tell. You have a story to tell. You have a voice that deserves to be heard. Are you ready to embrace these experiences and welcome them back into your heart?
Be well,
Renee Bedard ~ The Whispering Crow
The Whispering Crow 